Sex is a beautiful part of being human. Sharing and experiencing sexual pleasure is one of the greatest gifts in life. Although talking about sex is often taboo, open sexual dialogue helps us understand ourselves and others so that we can explore our sexual nature in a healthy environment.
There are a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to sexual subjects. One of the biggest confusions is the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire. Although the two can overlap, they describe two different experiences. To understand what sexual fantasy and sexual desire are, how they differ, and how they both contribute to our sexual side, let's dive deeper.
Sexual fantasies are thoughts and images that enhance or create sexual arousal. They can be retrieved deliberately or can happen spontaneously. Many things can trigger a sexual fantasy, and the stimulus varies vastly, including visual porn, erotic literature, memory retrieval, or simply seeing someone sexually appealing on the street.
Sexual fantasies do not necessarily mean desire. People often are turned on by fantasies that they do not wish to pursue in real life.
A sexual desire is a hunger to try a sexual act in real life. The desire can be derived from a sexual fantasy, and it can be a solo act or an act that involves others. If a sexual desire involves others, it is essential to practice clear communication and consent before acting on it.
Often, people are embarrassed or ashamed of their sexual fantasies. However, sexual fantasies are experienced universally and are not something to be ashamed of. 97% of people report experiencing sexual fantasies, yet less than a third report acting on them. People refrain from acting on sexual fantasies for a plethora of reasons. Often, the fantasy is something the person has no interest in doing in real life. For example, you might fantasize about being a cuckold, but in real life, that would fill you with anger, sadness, and other negative emotions. Still, even if a sexual fantasy is taboo, it is essential to understand it is normal.
In 2018, Dr. Justin Lehmiller published Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. The book resulted from a survey of over 4,000 Americans of diverse backgrounds and sexual interests. In the book, he categorized the most common sexual fantasies themes, which are:
If you've never explored your sexual fantasies, there is no time like the present to start. If you do not know where to start, there are a few questions you can ask yourself to discover what your fantasies might be.
It is important to remember that fantasies vary drastically. Many people fantasize about romance and conventional sex. That is their fantasy.
While 77% of people want to act on their sexual fantasies, only 20% have discussed it with their partner. Having a conversation with your partner about your sexual fantasy can feel daunting. It is hard to be vulnerable, but it is vital to long-term relationship satisfaction. Discussing vulnerable information and sharing secrets will bring your relationship closer, but respecting your partner's wishes and boundaries is essential.
Communicate your sexual desires clearly and explain your reasoning.
Be mindful of your partner's feelings and reassure them the fantasies are not a result of you finding them lacking.
After explaining, listen to your partner's feedback. If they would like to try your fantasy, you can begin that discussion.
If your partner doesn't want to partake in your sexual desire, you must respect their boundaries. You should also be open to hearing your partner's sexual desires and fantasies.
If you have decided to take action on your sexual desires, it is critical to stay safe, aware, and communicate clearly. Most sexual desires involve a partner or partners, so taking precautions to ensure everyone has a good time is critical. To do so:
Sexual fantasies and desires are a normal part of a person's sexuality. Not all fantasies are meant to be explored, but if you have a desire, discussing it with your partner can be a way to strengthen your connection and bond. All sex should be safe and consensual to ensure mutual pleasure. Sexuality is a beautiful part of being a human that is meant to be explored.
6 comments
Well written and researched article!!
Important article
I definitely have my fantasy list that I've been pursuing for about 10mnths now:
Mfm (of course)
Mmfm airtight scene
Stag&Vixen partnership
Mfm with my strapon in the middle
Creampie group sex mmfmm
Outdoor sex
Sensual fullbody massage
And a few more:
Fuckbox or female gloryhole
Cock milking with bondage (giving)
Pmassage with edging (giving)
So just a few to try and find this year. 😊
As a solo person, it's not going very well though. Lol
Treuer words have never been spoken. That three letter word is very interesting.
I like it
Excellent and educational. Very much appreciated.